It's so tempting to rush past today.
Remembering Jesus' death on the cross this Good Friday is plain sad. Trying to explain that Jesus died to Asher has been hard because I want to skip past this part. I want to make sure he knows the good news that Jesus rose from the dead and is ALIVE.
We've been looking at pictures of Jesus on the cross and how He was hurt in our place and I see that Asher understands that this is sad. Of course I don't like to see my little boy feeling the sadness, but I also know that its important to feel this sadness. Because without it, there can be no true joy on Easter morning: when the best news ever is realized. Like Jesus said as he was being arrested, "...it's a dark night, a dark hour." recorded by Luke in the Message version.
What an understatement. Absolutely the darkest night and the darkest hour.
There has to be a true understanding of the bad news before the good news can really be good news.
I am always jolted into reality of my part in Jesus' death when I remember the words to the hymn, "How Deep the Father's Love for Us."
"How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away,
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory.
Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders;
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished;
His dying breath has brought me life -
I know that it is finished."
10 April 2009
07 April 2009
01 April 2009
These are days.
I was in labor for 20 hours with Asher. Many thoughts filled my mind during those intense hours. For the sweeter part of that time, my mind ran over and over the lyrics to a Collin Raye song. I remembered these words from my post-high school summer of country music listening when it was cool to go see Collin at the Illinois State Fair.
One boy, one girl Two hearts beating wildly To put it mildly, it was love at first sight. He smiled, she smiled, and they knew right away This was the day they'd been waiting for all their lives, And for a moment the whole world, Revolved around one boy, and one girl.
Although, he is singing of a couple who found out they are expecting twins, in between painful contractions, I mulled over the fact that this was one of those days I had been waiting for all of my life.
There are few days such as this. Days that I dreamed about as a little girl. For as far back as I can remember, I've had discussions with my girlfriends about becoming a mommy, planning how many kids we would have, and what kind of mom we would be.
And there I was. In that moment. Experiencing the labor I had wondered about for years.
About to meet the baby that had long been in my dreams.
So here I am again. Living in the days that I waited for all my life. And the words I keep thinking of are the title words from 10,000 Maniacs song, "These are Days."
These are days youll remember.Never before and never since, I promise, will the whole world be warm as this.And as you feel it, youll know its true that you are blessed and lucky.Its true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.These are days youll remember.When may is rushing over you with desire to be part of the miracles you see in every hour.Youll know its true that you are blessed and lucky.Its true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.These are days.
Few times in life are there days so contented. When I am not wanting the next thing or the last thing. Even though I'm itching to get out of the house, I want to be living in this part, right now. These are the sweet days I will remember when my little girl goes on her first date, when she graduates from high school, when she gets married, when she has her own babies.
These are days.
One boy, one girl Two hearts beating wildly To put it mildly, it was love at first sight. He smiled, she smiled, and they knew right away This was the day they'd been waiting for all their lives, And for a moment the whole world, Revolved around one boy, and one girl.
Although, he is singing of a couple who found out they are expecting twins, in between painful contractions, I mulled over the fact that this was one of those days I had been waiting for all of my life.
There are few days such as this. Days that I dreamed about as a little girl. For as far back as I can remember, I've had discussions with my girlfriends about becoming a mommy, planning how many kids we would have, and what kind of mom we would be.
And there I was. In that moment. Experiencing the labor I had wondered about for years.
About to meet the baby that had long been in my dreams.
So here I am again. Living in the days that I waited for all my life. And the words I keep thinking of are the title words from 10,000 Maniacs song, "These are Days."
These are days youll remember.Never before and never since, I promise, will the whole world be warm as this.And as you feel it, youll know its true that you are blessed and lucky.Its true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.These are days youll remember.When may is rushing over you with desire to be part of the miracles you see in every hour.Youll know its true that you are blessed and lucky.Its true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.These are days.
Few times in life are there days so contented. When I am not wanting the next thing or the last thing. Even though I'm itching to get out of the house, I want to be living in this part, right now. These are the sweet days I will remember when my little girl goes on her first date, when she graduates from high school, when she gets married, when she has her own babies.
These are days.
24 March 2009
She's here. She's perfect. She's a gift..jpg)
12 March 2009
I think he's ready!
Within the first month of seeing two lines on the pregnancy test stick almost four years ago, I had purchased crib bedding, nine months worth of maternity clothes, and researched the perfect stroller, car seat, and even baby monitor.
Within the first month of seeing two lines on the pregnancy test stick last summer, I again became conscious of my diet, cherished free moments when I could squeeze in a nap, and thought about how Baby's arrival would affect Asher.
For many reasons, this pregnancy has been night and day different from that first time around. I am so excited to meet this little wiggly person, but this time most of my preparations have focused on getting Asher ready to meet Baby.
We had a lot to work on. After many prayers and mommy/daddy to son heart to heart conversations, I now believe that the addition of another child will not result in eternal resentment from our oldest son.
Within the past three months we've been able to transition from calling the nursery Asher's "other one room" to "Baby's room."
Although he still roars like a dinosaur and flaps his pterodactyl wings around babies who are sitting on his level, he no longer declares that he will "throw that baby away."
When we walk by the church nursery, he now will acknowledge that area as the room for babies rather than shouting that there are too many babies here.
And most entertaining of all, crazy rock star Asher now looks at babies as a captive audience who will watch as he performs on his guitar.
So with one week to go, I think our little boy is ready to become a big brother!
Within the first month of seeing two lines on the pregnancy test stick last summer, I again became conscious of my diet, cherished free moments when I could squeeze in a nap, and thought about how Baby's arrival would affect Asher.
For many reasons, this pregnancy has been night and day different from that first time around. I am so excited to meet this little wiggly person, but this time most of my preparations have focused on getting Asher ready to meet Baby.
We had a lot to work on. After many prayers and mommy/daddy to son heart to heart conversations, I now believe that the addition of another child will not result in eternal resentment from our oldest son.
Within the past three months we've been able to transition from calling the nursery Asher's "other one room" to "Baby's room."
Although he still roars like a dinosaur and flaps his pterodactyl wings around babies who are sitting on his level, he no longer declares that he will "throw that baby away."
When we walk by the church nursery, he now will acknowledge that area as the room for babies rather than shouting that there are too many babies here.
And most entertaining of all, crazy rock star Asher now looks at babies as a captive audience who will watch as he performs on his guitar.
So with one week to go, I think our little boy is ready to become a big brother!
03 March 2009
Birthday Contentment
Although Asher's big day of turning 3 started off a little rough, it all ended well.
After protesting, he did give in to wearing the guitar shirt and hat he had been so excited about wearing for weeks.
He did get to eat M&Ms on top of his guitar birthday cake.
And he was satisfied with the cow cuckoo clock (whew!).
Another year of birthday success!!
After protesting, he did give in to wearing the guitar shirt and hat he had been so excited about wearing for weeks.
He did get to eat M&Ms on top of his guitar birthday cake.
And he was satisfied with the cow cuckoo clock (whew!).Another year of birthday success!! 02 March 2009
Birthday Disappointment?
I certainly don't believe kids should always get everything they want. If Asher asks for a shot gun when he is 7, or a motorcycle when he is 16, or even a dog next year, I doubt I will rush to fulfill those desires.
But today he will experience for the first time not getting the birthday gift he has faithfully asked for. Every time we've mentioned Asher's birthday, he talks about getting a "ding" clock. He insists he wants a clock just like the one we regularly stop to watch at the library that faithfully dings at the 3, 6, 9, and 12. The spot in his room is even all picked out for this "big" clock., It will go next to his cd player and by his guitar. He is looking forward to then being able to watch it when he takes a nap.
Every other time he has asked for something so persistently we've gotten it for him. We were happy to oblige with the guitar for Christmas. However, we did have reservations about giving our son cleaning supplies for his birthday last year when Walter was thinking more along the lines of a basketball hoop.
Purchasing a grandfather clock for our son's bedroom really isn't an option though. First, that would empty the birthday budget for quite some time and second I would like my son to sleep again rather than be woken every 15 minutes when the clock dings.
And so...today I am concerned that his third birthday will always be remembered as the day of disappointment. Just like when I didn't receive that real Cabbage Patch doll that I wanted, or when the real baby I wanted didn't come when I planned.
Learning how to handle disappointment is an important part of a contented life. As I was just studying, the Israelites came to a point where God had enough of their grumbling and rebellion. Despite all the warnings they received not to rebel and to trust him for provision, they continued to doubt and firmly believed what they wanted was the best.
Ultimately that led to them not being able to enter the Promised Land but given a destiny of wandering in the desert for the rest of their lives. Even then, when God told them they couldn't have the land, they continued to believe they could take it anyway. When they tried to fight their own way into the land, the inhabitants easily beat them in the attack and even more Israelites were killed.
God knew what was best for His people then and He still does today. He understands what will bring us lasting joy and knows the things that will ultimately be destructive to our lives.
When Asher outgrows a love of clocks in a few months. When he is in a rested happy mood rather than being woken every fifteen minutes, I hope Asher too will understand that mom and dad are loving him best for his birthday by not giving him a big ding clock.
But today he will experience for the first time not getting the birthday gift he has faithfully asked for. Every time we've mentioned Asher's birthday, he talks about getting a "ding" clock. He insists he wants a clock just like the one we regularly stop to watch at the library that faithfully dings at the 3, 6, 9, and 12. The spot in his room is even all picked out for this "big" clock., It will go next to his cd player and by his guitar. He is looking forward to then being able to watch it when he takes a nap.
Every other time he has asked for something so persistently we've gotten it for him. We were happy to oblige with the guitar for Christmas. However, we did have reservations about giving our son cleaning supplies for his birthday last year when Walter was thinking more along the lines of a basketball hoop.
Purchasing a grandfather clock for our son's bedroom really isn't an option though. First, that would empty the birthday budget for quite some time and second I would like my son to sleep again rather than be woken every 15 minutes when the clock dings.
And so...today I am concerned that his third birthday will always be remembered as the day of disappointment. Just like when I didn't receive that real Cabbage Patch doll that I wanted, or when the real baby I wanted didn't come when I planned.
Learning how to handle disappointment is an important part of a contented life. As I was just studying, the Israelites came to a point where God had enough of their grumbling and rebellion. Despite all the warnings they received not to rebel and to trust him for provision, they continued to doubt and firmly believed what they wanted was the best.
Ultimately that led to them not being able to enter the Promised Land but given a destiny of wandering in the desert for the rest of their lives. Even then, when God told them they couldn't have the land, they continued to believe they could take it anyway. When they tried to fight their own way into the land, the inhabitants easily beat them in the attack and even more Israelites were killed.
God knew what was best for His people then and He still does today. He understands what will bring us lasting joy and knows the things that will ultimately be destructive to our lives.
When Asher outgrows a love of clocks in a few months. When he is in a rested happy mood rather than being woken every fifteen minutes, I hope Asher too will understand that mom and dad are loving him best for his birthday by not giving him a big ding clock.
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