The right words

Lines like

"Grace and Peace"
"Give me Jesus"
"Ride with me through the breaking of the dawn."
"This good day, it is a gift from  you."

have played in my mind repeatedly through the years. Some days I hear the clear voice of Fernando Ortega remind me of exactly the right encouragement and even in those moments peace returns.

My new friend, the alpaca farmer gave me her prime seat so I would have a picture perfect view of the man with my favorite voice. He sang all of the right things. Even though I heard whispers of people singing along throughout the entire concert, his voice led us in a couple of worship songs providing a time for everyone to sing along loudly.

His stories are his. I love hearing more details about Mildred Madalyn Johnson who drives her big red car at every concert, but its those lines - the ones with less than ten words - that I pull out and repeat into my story.  Those lines describe my days with the same plot, just different characters maybe because we're centered on the same author.

That same author who is guiding me today through deciphering which of  the three kids are crying at any given moment. "grace and peace"

The one who leads me to make good decisions when I crave those things I don't need. "give me Jesus."

And the God who has led me through many dark hours into each new day and "the breaking of the dawn."

This good day, it is a gift.

Cramming

The countdown is now down to one week. I'm feeling like I need to cram everything into Asher's consciousness in these final days like a giant run on sentence of

Be kind eat all of your lunch share be friendly respect your teacher wash your hands don't hit anyone try not to get too angry girls are nice to play with too don't be afraid to answer questions don't yell stand up for truth if you fall get up don't act too crazy talk to God anytime you want say please and thank you always remember I love you!

These and a hundred others are phrases I've repeated to him a zillion times over the past five years. And I guess this is what I've been preparing him for.  Days when I won't be there to remind him. Now days when he lives on the strong foundation.

"The rains came down, the streams rose, the winds beat against the house; yet it did not fall because it had its foundation on the rock."

I've been wondering what I will do on the first day of kindergarten, here are some of those thoughts.

A person too

Sometimes I forget that I'm a person too.

The three extensions of myself demand constant energy and their needs (or wants) get all of my attention.

We finished bedtimes before 8:00 last night and I spent time alone outside with my book. The book is good, but I stopped reading often just to rest, to sit with nobody asking me to do something or dream over a Lego catalog.

Just sitting can be so fine for me. I really don't need to talk or listen, but sometimes I just need to be.

This morning I read from Sarah Young, "Sit quietly in my presence while I bless you." She writes from God's perspective and I love this letter that allows me to sit and let God's fullness wash over me with newness.
new strength
new energy
new love

It's from this filling of newness and remembering that I am not simpy a machine meeting constant requests that I can enter a day when there may one again always be someone crying.

The Girl with the Dinosaur Tattoo

Amelie is my fighting warrior who can wield a sword quick enough to fight off the attacks of a five year old boy.

She is also my scared sweetie who runs to me when Asher pretends to be a tiger or dragon or simply puts his hands up in a menacing growl.

And Amelie is a diva.  Refusing to move her hand an extra millimeter to grab the sippy cup, she insisted Grams walk across the kitchen to place it in her hand.  Even though she is two and fully capable of feeding herself, she refuses to move her mouth to the food, but makes Mommy stick the food in her mouth. 

Spoiled? Maybe.  But she is my only girl - the one who wears dinosaur tattoos. 

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