29 June 2010

Different but here

Hopefully my new neighbors thought the chuckling they heard out their window this morning was just another one of these very early rising and chirpy birds we have in this part of town!

I read this verse in Hosea and contained my huge shout of joy to a simple sigh of relief. This is what I read.

"And so, I am not going to act on my anger...And why? Because I am God and not a human. I'm The Holy One and I'm here - in your very midst." (Hosea 11)

I never doubted that my faith rested in someone much bigger than myself but I love that God clearly spelled out his different-ness from us. With all of humanity's imperfections and flaws what hope would there be in trusting in someone - even a perfect version - so similar to me.

He doesn't act on these human impulses I constantly fight, like the desire to criticize or give in to anger. He is more than a buddy-buddy friend, He is different and big enough to make a difference.

And the other best news is that last part, He is here, in my midst. My heart has been breaking every night when Asher begs me to stay in his room with him because he is "lonely." He has never had a problem before with falling asleep on his own, and I am all about laying with him every now and then while he falls asleep, but truthfully if I did lay down for more than 5 minutes, I would be the one snoozing away by 8:30 every night.

And so I remind Asher that God is always with him, available and listening to whatever he wants to say to Him.

He is the friend who is always here, but He is the God who is far above human flaws.

23 June 2010


Last night I tried to describe spurs and realized I had no idea what I was saying.

My understanding of cowboy equipment has been tested this week during our VBS. I always thought I knew about those sharp pointing things that look like stars until I found myself stumbling through my words praying the preschoolers would somehow get it.

On the way home, Asher described how knights also wear spurs and he didn't know if he wanted boots with his spurs or leg and foot armor. But the question of whether or not there would be spurs didn't occur to him. It was a given.

Apparently Asher is exactly right. Spurs are a symbol of knighthood and an enemy knight often displayed the spurs of the one he defeated as a symbol of victory. Losing spurs was a sign of disgrace.

I kept thinking of the verse from Hebrews reminding me to "spur one another on" so I looked it up this morning to see what God wants me to be spurring others on to.

The answer? Love and Good Works.

Exactly what I've been in need of encouragement towards. Apathy sets in so easily around here, and I really could use some spurring on especially towards letting my faith make a difference in the way I live.

Not wanting a rider to get carried away, horse riders and animal rights activists advocate for the proper use of spurs so the horse doesn't get hurt as it is prompted on. A heel dug in too far or poked in the wrong direction could do much more damage than good in prompting the horse toward the goal.

A word spoken with a judgmental attitude or at the wrong time could do equally as much damage as a spur in the side.

And so my friends, I impart my new found knowledge of spurring with the expectation of being encouraged as I look for opportunities to encourage others on our race to the prize.

22 June 2010

What would you do?

I wonder if I'm a horrible parent a couple of times every day.

My questioning is usually related to little things like wondering what the teachers might think if they realize Asher has on two pairs of underwear today.

Or wondering why the nursery workers used to put socks on my baby girl's feet in the middle of summer?

Other times I'm convinced the choice I've made will not win me a mother of the year award, but I don't renege pleading for my sanity.

Last night was one of those choices.
Thanks to prayers for some kind of sibling truce, when Amelie woke up from her nap, Asher decided to throw a billion blankets into her crib and climb in for a snuggling fest. Of course she loved it, after all her big brother was paying nice attention to her.

When Walter walked in the door from work without the usual madness, he wondered if I had shipped the kids back to the old house - and then he joined me in listening to the monitor to hear Asher saying sweet things to his sister and Amelie giggling away.

Were those really our kids playing together nicely?

What would a good parent do at that point?

Quickly set the table and dish up the meal taking advantage of the opportunity to eat without interruption, of course!

And that's exactly what we did. We enjoyed our entire meal sitting at the kitchen table without pleading for Asher to take a bite or struggling to keep up with a girl who eats faster than we can give her food.
Next time I'll get out the candles and turn on the soft music, just like a good parent would do.

17 June 2010

No more excuses

Who was that out of shape lady shuffling down the sidewalk this morning with a kitchen timer clipped to her shorts and shoes that are six years old on her feet?

Um...that's the out of shape Angie - the one that gave the former marathon running Angie chills to imagine.

But I did it. Now that I feel safer running alone in the mornings in our new neighborhood, I have no more excuses.

No nursing baby.
No scary characters watching.
No cracked and uneven sidewalks to trip over.

Just a beautiful morning, bright sunshine, and a sleeping family.

I love it!

Maybe I can reclaim some of the runner in me before she completely disappears. Until I know she still exists, I'll stick with my old shoes and kitchen timer so serious runners - please avert your eyes...

15 June 2010

She's Yours

Dear God,
Amelie is Yours. We pray you will be real to her and evidence yourself in her life. Grab her with your love so she understands that you have sacrificed all of your Son for her to live. Cause her to love you more than the things in this world that flash and sparkle trying to turn her attention away.

Thank you that we get to raise her. A lot of the time the thought of raising her fills me with fear of the zillions of mistakes I will make. Please guide us with wisdom that only you can give - the kind that makes me wonder how someone like me could think of such a plan.

Be the Rock and Refuge she can stake her life on. The hope that will push her forward when she feels lost and uncertain.

Pour out your blessings on Amelie. Turn her face towards you while she is young so she can fully soak in all the goodness you have for her.

Most of all, Thank you for Amelie Hope. She is a gift who evidenced hope when we desperately needed to know that you are near. Please fill her with this same hope and expectancy in who you are.

(A letter to commemorate Amelie's baby dedication this past weekend.)

10 June 2010

A new view

I have a new view!

While sitting here at my computer desk, I can look out our bay windows to see birds pecking under large trees! Just a week ago, I blogged while looking out windows onto the porch I will forever love but I'm realizing this new view is good too.

Yesterday we handed over the keys to our White Place home and drove by the house one more time after the closing. The new owners talked of carpet and new paint and I closed my ears. Sure some of the carpet could be replaced, but the floors and walls of that house have so much of our sweat and tears poured into them that a lump fills my throat when I think of anything being changed.

I'm imagining the new couple cooking in our kitchen, hanging out in the living room, and relaxing on our porch and I have to realize that's not home anymore.

This box filled disarrayed home is now ours and I'm beginning to become attached. In some ways I feel like I've entered the modern world. Maybe like a country wife moving into the city and getting adjusting to all the conveniences the rest of the world has known for years.

Like a garage that goes up and down (Asher can attest to how great this is!).

And a closet that I can see my clothes in.

Of course there's the laundry area right off my kitchen not to mention my new musical washer and dryer that I've used every day since moving in! (Yes they are so sweet they sing to me when they are done!)

I miss the 100 year old house and all of those charms that won me over forever, but I think I will learn to love this new view too.

04 June 2010

Check, check, and check.

I made it through the obstacle course of boxes and drawers to come downstairs this morning for one last quiet time on the porch. By the end of the day, many of these boxes will be gone and furniture will have a new home across town. And I'm so thankful I completed everything on my one last time list.

Wednesday we tricycled, walked, and strolled to our favorite ice cream store.

Thursday we again traveled via our preferred modes of transportation to the best neighborhood park in town - even picking up a little neighbor friend along the way.

And later last night, Walter and I sat together on the front porch watching 30 Rock. The porch sold me on this house and nothing about it has lost its charm over the past 7 years. It never let me down as the perfect place for a swing in the hammock, countless morning quiet times, and evenings with a book or catching up with Walter. While I sat this morning, I willed each of my senses to memorize every part of it and I hope they won't let me down.

We checked everything off the "one last time list." I guess that makes me ready for the "first time list" we will be starting in that new house I hope will soon feel like home.

01 June 2010

Another house blog

My saga of moving is coming to an end.

You're probably thinking, didn't you move last fall, because it seems like you've been writing about your house forever! Yes! I have been writing about this house for a long time but this week is the culmination of it all.

Our moving day is this weekend and we have only four nights left in this house. That's less than a handful of nights! There are so many things I want to do one last time.

One last time of pulling Asher's tricycle out of the garage for a ride to the park.
One last movie watched on the front porch.
One last walk to get ice cream on the trail behind our house.
One last morning watching the squirrels spring from tree to tree.

I hope I get them all in!

There was a time I didn't think we would get to this point of having one last time for everything. And during that time, God showed me His faithfulness to bring us through the house selling process in His perfect way. You can read one instance of how He sustained me at Christian Devotions.