A Red Shoe Day

This morning, I stepped onto the stool to grab the box in the top corner of my closet. The box held the skinny heeled red shoes I bought two years ago, but never had courage to wear until today. With confidence from our babysitter that they were cute I set out to conquer my world with red on my feet. This day of my courage also happened to be the first day that the parking garage is under construction adding another 250 steps to my hike into the office. I know it was 250 steps because my feet shouted at me with each one as I thought about Chinese women who were subjected to feet binding.

I bound my feet today because I will soon have many fewer chances to wear nice shoes and my closetful of business casual outfits are now in even greater danger of molding to their hangers. I needed red shoes today to remind me that this is a day of independence. Those shoes took me into my boss' office. I left the letter on his desk without being able to look him in the eye. The officialness of the words on that paper meant the three year long decision I've been pondering has been made. Today I resigned from my job.

Its kind of free-spirited to say "I quit my job today!" but I don't really feel free. The loss of my twice weekly commitment to the adult world makes me more afraid and relying on hope that this is the best decision.