I've always been kind of annoyed with the story of Gideon in the Bible. God told him to go into battle, and guarantees him to achieve victory.
But Gideon's faith is weak
And he asks God for a sign.
God gives the sign abundantly.
But Gideon refuses to believe.
Gideon asks for another sign
Again God answers
Place my name, Angie, in each of Gideon's spots above and that's how my week has gone.
Signs have always seemed superstitious to me, and sometimes even ridiculous. I'm thinking along the lines of, "God, if I open to a Bible passage about a man, that means I should marry that cute guy I like at church." I'm pretty sure most Bible pages refer to a man and Jesus was fully man as well as fully God so if there was no human involved, surely the passage could be stretched if any allusion to Jesus was there.
When people talk about these kinds of revelations from God, they could possibly be legitimate, but there is so much room for interpretation or excuses, that asking for a sign from God always seemed to me like using your own mother as a reference on a job application. Of course, they have your back.
But one morning this week, I flippantly asked God for a sign of reassurance about something weighing really heavy on me lately. The sign was not something I had control over but what I asked for happened - and as in Gideon's case, it happened abundantly, obviously, with no doubt. Rather than thanking God and going about my day in peace, I panicked. I didn't take it as a sign that I need not fear, but rather took it as a sign that my worse fears were coming true.
My situation would have been like Gideon taking the fact that the fleece was wet to mean there's a flood coming, don't fight the battle - even though his initial prayer was for affirmation through a wet fleece and dry ground.
Because my fears were getting the best of me, I again prayed somewhat flippantly for the reverse sign to happen. It did. Just like Gideon's second request when his fleece was dry and the ground wet, my situation had completely reversed. So all should have been good. My fears should have been eliminated, I should have trusted that God was in control as these two signs indicated.
But again, I feared. I complained to my husband who could only roll his eyes and tell me how crazy I am. But yet I still question. Were those signs? Was it just coincidence? Is God playing with my emotions only to allow disappointment again?
I think maybe I'll let these raging questions settle while I go finish re-reading the rest of Gideon's story.
2 comments:
I try to remember that when I can't figure out God's mind (or signs) I can always trust His character. (And when could I ever figure out the mind of God? He already mentioned that His ways are above my ways!)
Throughout my life God has answered my prayers. One time I had been feeling like Heavenly Father was not listening to my pleading prayers about my son and some of the choices he was making. I was to teach a Sunday School lesson on Sunday and I needed a special video to show. I could not remember the name of the video and half heartedly asked the Lord to help me remember its name. Sunday morning I decided to fast and pray for all of my children and a sign that he was listening, and for help in possibly finding the video for class which was to begin in just a few hours. In my prayer, I asked Heavenly Father to bless each of my children with what he knew they stood in need of, since he knew better than I did. Usually I decide what he should bless them with, but this time I didn't. I also asked for a miracle to be able to find the video before church started. When I got to church the library was closed, so I prepared the classroom for my lesson. I kept looking to see if someone was in the library, they were not. Another man was standing at the library door waiting for it to open. I told him of my video dilemma. He asked me what the name of the video was. I told him I didn't know, but that a song was sung throughout the video. He said, "I think it is this one" He told me the name of the video "What Think Ye of Christ." I didn't recognize the name, but told him if it was the right one, he had just been part of an answer to my prayer. I took the vidio with only minutes to spare before my lesson would begin and viewed it to see if it was the one I wanted to show. It was. I knew that my prayer had been answered. That God knew me and loved me and my children. I learned that he is in charge and that he is God. I knew that he wanted those in my class to see the video so they could feel His spirit. Before class started, I went to a private place and thanked Him. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be a mother, to gain wisdom in this life, and to know a loving and kind Heavenly Father.
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