How many more times?

Are your days as long as mine?

There must be 23 hours in my day when kids are awake, translate needy, and possibly ONE hour for me to catch my breath.

Especially on these long days when Walter prepares for his actuarial exam I fight constant battles to be present with whatever defines my mommy job at the time.

It could mean making another peanut butter and jelly sandwich

or pushing Asher on the swing until my arms fall off

or changing yet another diaper

or filling more ice cube trays with puree baby food to freeze

or putting on shoes and socks and coats and hats and blankets (and don't forget the pacifier!)

or draining a baby's nose with that handy squishy bulb the hospitals send home

or exclaiming one more time about the beautiful music notes Asher drew.

But when I'm about to quit and boycott any more responsibilities, I'm reminded of the alternative.

Someday those little runny noses will not be here. Sure I'll have other responsibilities as a mom, but these physically demanding days will be gone. The emotional challenges of teen years will come and eventually a new phase of interacting with Asher and Amelie as parents themselves will dawn.

So I wonder today how many more times will I get to

push Asher super duper monster high on the swing?

cuddle my sweet girl before she starts to walk ?

make room on the refrigerator for more of Asher's sunshines and smiley faces and music notes?

point out diggers and firetrucks and construction sites while we drive?

tuck them in and kiss their peaceful faces?

And with this thought I end my hour of aloneness and begin my 23 hours of being needed!